Today, no one will judge me, alright? I don’t really know what’s the point of writing this down, but I just feel like sharing an insight to everyone. The fact is, I’ve never been in a serious relationship before–and until now. Although this may be the case, I think what I’m going to share will also affect people who have been in long-term relationships.
I may not know the feeling of being in a serious relationship, but I think it’s legit to say that I know what it’s like to be in one. I’ve seen a lot of friends getting deep and intimate with other people for a long time. I’d have to say, it’s one of the norms of the society. To be honest, I find these people inspiring that maybe someday, I will find myself settling with someone as well. But of course, there’s always a bad side about a situation that has its pros and cons. Don’t get me wrong, but so far, this observation is 100% accurate. What I don’t like about the long-term relationship is when one of the two get used to the comfort of being someone else’s half, which brings them to forgetting their true self before getting attached. Usually, these are the people who stay in the relationship because it’s sayang to waste x number of years they’ve been together or just because they’re so scared to feel alone.
I don’t get it. You’re young, you have a lot of opportunities. You have so much more to see in the world that your partner’s holding you back from seeing them. And last, but not the least, you’re unhappy. I DON’T REALLY GET IT. They say that it’s so easy for me to say to end the relationship because I haven’t been in a long term relationship. Well guess what, if you’re telling me that not growing as a better person, limiting my horizons, and constantly being unhappy is part of the package, then I’d rather be single forever.
In life, there’s such thing as “too much” and “too little”. One of the most important things I’ve learned from my Theology classes is to be in the “middle ground”, which is called the “mean”. An example of “too much” would be people who can’t breakup with their partner because they’re too attached or they don’t know the kind of person they will be when they become single. They are too afraid of not being able to handle the life where there’s no other person texting them every hour. The thing is, they’ll never know what’s on the other side if they never cross the line. They’ll never discover for themselves which side they’re happier if they never try. Despite being very unhappy, they choose to stay and “give it another try”.
The example of “too little”, on the other hand, would be me. I am surprisingly happy and contented being single. Actually, I’m getting comfortable in this kind of situation. But that’s the thing; it’s scary to be very happy but single at the same time. I’ve pushed away a couple of people because I’m scared that if I jump into a REAL relationship, it might ruin my simple, quiet life. I’m happy as it is, why ruin it by challenging the probability of getting attached to someone? The problem here is not because I don’t fall into the norms of happy people in relationships, it is because I might actually be hindering myself from a happiness that will only be attained by being happy with that special someone.
At the end of the day, it is FEAR that’s stopping us from living and growing. Whether it is too much or too little of giving yourself to someone else, fear hinders us from discovering the opportunity of finding happiness on the other side. So here’s my advice to my unhappy friends who are too scared to break up with their partners, be free and find yourself–what you really want. Don’t push yourself in loving someone when in fact you already know for yourself that taking a break is the right thing to do. And for those, like me, who are scared of testing the waters again after getting used to the worry-free single life, go make someone else happy by making yourself feel loved and part of something. I’m not saying I’m jumping in again, but someday, maybe I will ; )