Wake Up Call

**TH141 Immersion Reflection Paper. I’m warning you, boring siya )

It’s surprising to know that a whole day spent on immersion was just what I needed after last Wednesday’s tiring events. Getting the chance to be away from the noisy, busy, polluted city made it a lot easier for me to contemplate about my unconscious mood swings and short-temper-edness recently. Past few weeks have been mainly about worries on the possibilities of not having the future that I want to have and how to deal with the unresolved issues I have with a few important friends. A visit to the CELL made me realize how shallow my problems are when I met people, who can’t even afford proper education, are spending most of their time resolving environmental and socio-economic issues.

My group’s immersion is a lot different compared to the usual three-day Ateneo immersion Theology 141 students have to go through. They have to immerse themselves in urban poor communities by trying to be in the shoes of people who live there. I think its purpose is for the students to realize that they should be grateful for what they have and know their unlimited possibilities when it comes to helping these people in need. Our immersion, on the other hand, took only a total of seven hours of our day and, instead of the urban poor communities, we were more exposed to the real situation when it comes to the environment.

Our group had to do the seven-hour immersion with another group: St. Scho Night  Secondary students, who came up with a club that promoted the significance of WISHCRAFT. Basically, WISHCRAFT wishes to send students, who can’t pay for private universities, as scholars, through environment-friendly actions. These night secondary students are poor, young Filipinas who were not able to finish high school, or, at least, didn’t have the money to pay for a decent secondary education. I know a lot about them because I was once a Scholastican. Whenever we were on our way out of school, secondary students were just about to go to their first class.

So, while Ateneans worry about getting the highest-paying jobs in the country, Night Secondary students worry about the education of the youth who can’t pay for their tuition in universities. DISTURBING, right? I’m not bragging at all, but Ateneo opens its graduates to a lot of opportunities even without putting much effort in looking for them. It’s just sad to think that we never get contented with the options presented because we always want more. Yes, we’ve worked hard and we deserve high-paying jobs, although I think we still have a lot to prove when we get out of the grounds of our school.

I am an average-Atenean; average–academically, socially, and economically. On a normal day, I spend most of my time and effort in organizations that I know will give me experiences that are related to marketing and public relations. I do this because I’ll be able to add these in my resume, which means getting a better paying job in the future. Secondary night students from St. Scho, on the other hand, spend their time segregating waste so that they can sell the recyclable ones and then add the money to the fund that sends other students who are in need of it more. Are you finally getting why I felt disturbed? How can someone who has everything can’t even think of helping out others, while those, who are in need of help themselves, can still put their time to aid people who are in a worse situation?

While that issue is left unresolved, another more disturbing issue was presented. Unfortunately, our generation neglected to dwell on where to put our priorities. We worry so much about our new iPhone’s LCD getting scratched that we forget to care for something more important: nature. We failed to remember that cellphones, laptops, and cars can be easily replaced, while nature will be something that God made originally. It is true that mankind made it a better place to live in by developing technologies, but it is also because of us why it’s becoming a difficult place to sustain.During one of the reflection sessions, a member of the other group mentioned inter-connectivity and our generation losing in touch with it. Because of the very advanced technology that we have today, we lost the sensibility of being part of something bigger, which is also probably why we forgot that there are greater responsibilities that we should be preparing for. Immersion has taught me how little the problems we worry about everyday when there’s more to the world than our petty lives. We are not educated simply to contribute more to the corporate world. We are in this university not only to gain academic knowledge, but also to be formed holistically. Although I wanted to share this during the sharing session, I couldn’t really bring it up in front of the other guests because I think it’s only us, the Ateneo group, who have been so selfish about the “save the world” thing.

Given the chance, I’d definitely go back to CELL and spend more time in helping out. I think WISHCRAFT’s mission presents so much good possibilities, which I am very willing to be part of. I have a home where my family waits for me, a good educational background that I could use to find a decent job, a bit of experiences which can serve as a taste of what I’m about to do in the future, and more than enough supply of the basic needs a person should have. WHAT ELSE CAN I ASK FOR? I want to give back by giving others an opportunity to live a life that’s worth living in. Poor people, who work so hard and get so little in return, deserve better. If people who are at the advantage could just be contented with what they have and share their surpluses, gaps between classes will be lesser. If people, who have so little, can be contented enough to overlook their unnecessary wants, then Ateneans should put some of their time in giving back.

I didn’t write this blog because it is what I’m going to pass to my Theology professor as a requirement, I blogged about it because it is what I really feel towards the issues I have encountered in my immersion experience. I’m really proud of those who gave up their glamorous lives in order to take a better role in the world. I’d look up to someone who’s average because they share their excess rather than someone who has so much because they choose to keep all the excess they have. I’m not going to lie. I still want a high-paying job in the future that will help me keep my lifestyle, but I promised myself that I won’t forget the things I learned from immersion. There are far more important things than grades and career. It’s just a matter of perspective in where I should put my heart into.

P.S. I wasn’t able to conquer my fear of worms : ( Sayang! 

P.P.S Will blog about the shallow problems next time!

What was I thinking?

Screw life.
I’m done.
REALLY.

ME: When Bored

I Will March On

There are so many things I want to write about, but I think this one deserves to be put to priority and be shared. GAH. I’m not getting any younger and I think it’s about time I wake up and start facing reality by, at least, putting some attention and worry to my future. I’ve been trying to ignore this issue for quite a while and I don’t know if it’s because of my fear that my carefree days are about to end soon or I’m just not ready to face the real, harsh world. The thought of transitioning from college to employment makes me want to be a freshman again–inexperienced in a lot of things and still faces a lot of possibilities.

There are times when we think we’re facing the worst problem today, but our future self will think that the present self is stupid when the real world is handling a much bigger problem that makes our struggles insignificant. 

For at least about four years of my life, I dreamed of studying in UST and taking up Architecture. I was so passionate about it, I didn’t care if I had thousands of competitors when I start looking for a job. I knew it was something I really wanted because I was willing to work hard for it and, at the same time, it was the kind of stress that I’ll be proud of at the end of the day. After being so sure about what I wanted in the future, the worst happened: ACET results came out. Something I’ve planned for a quarter of my life just vanished, like a popped bubble, in less than two hours. The future has been set for me by my parents. Ahh… yes, my parents didn’t expect I was going to pass the ACET and DLSU-CET. I didn’t know Ateneo’s reputation was that strong. Despite not being able to get a Management course (to think of yun yung pinakagusto nila), parents still insisted that it will give me a better future and larger network. After all, shifting was popular anyway. Good bye, UST. Good bye, Architect Onishi.

Which do I pursue, my dream or my practical future?

Because of the turn out of events, I spent half of my freshman year in Ateneo complaining about how I was not able to pursue my dreams and adjusting to the norms of the new environment. I’d have to give it to Ateneo for making it a lot easier for the students to the adjust, but I guess being part of the school’s women’s volleyball team had to do with the ease of adjustment period. The other half of the year was spent on falling in-love and getting my heart broken for the first time in my entire life. I admit that I had a lot of regrets back then, which made me complain again about not being in UST instead. Second year went by so fast because I learned to keep myself busy to forget the painful things that happened to me. Instead of studying, most of my time were spent with high school friends because they became my comfort zone. Dorm issues were slowly raising so Jem, Dzi, A, and I were starting to drift a little. The regret of not being able to protest for my dream job was still there because my high school friends reminded me how life was so easy before because there were not much dramas and issues to deal with. Whenever I wanted to run away from something, I automatically think of them and find myself on the way to Taft.

Junior year was the year I started to develop into a whole different person–at least a better person, I think. I have out grown my comfort zone and learned to socialize with schoolmates. I was so saturated with the life of an athlete, which made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of things in college! So, I decided to explore by applying in organizations and joining a club (that I didn’t know was going to change my life). Since beach volleyball training wasn’t hectic at all, I decided to join a volleyball club where I met the most important people in my life right now. Because of this club, I learned a lot of things about myself. Character building kung character building. Haha! Coming out of my shell fast enough, I became the person who I wanted to be. By meeting people who made a difference in my life and knowing that I also made a good impact on theirs, Ateneo didn’t seem bad at all anymore. In fact, I was grateful that my parents sent me to this school instead of UST because of the experiences and people. EVERYTHING DOES HAPPEN FOR A REASON  

Senior year, OH YES SENIOR YEAR. Surprisingly, it is the most productive year of my life–but definitely not academically. If I was to make an outline of all events I had to go through in my twenty years of existence and highlight the best and worst parts of it, almost everything under ’4th year college’ will stand out because most probably they’ll be highlighted by my favorite yellow highlighter. I’ve learned so many things that made me into the person I am today.

College, the phase that I was so scared of, turned out to be the best part of my life.

Believe it or not, college will definitely make a great impact on your life. I’m sure those four years weren’t wasted because I am now the living proof of the success. I made big projects happen that never occurred to anyone before. I became a leader and a servant at the same time. I made an impact on other people’s lives. I focused more on going out and experiencing the world rather than staying at home to study because books will never teach you the way experiences do.

Being scared of facing the real world is definitely not because I’m unprepared. 

I always remember my high school self as happy and carefree not because I was a smart person full of wisdom who had a good life, but because I’ve had so many good memories with friends and I had less issues to deal with. I wasn’t prepared for college when I was about to graduate high school. In fact, unlike my batchmates, I wasn’t excited to leave for college at all. Everything good in high school happened during the last two years of my stay, which made me want to stay more. I thought, just when I was finally comfortable in one place, I have to leave and explore a new world again. BACK TO ZERO. So, was I really unprepared for college, or was I just so scared to leave the place I finally learned to be comfortable in?

I know very well the feeling of being the “new girl”. Moving a lot makes me change schools every other 2-4 years. I’ve had transition issues even way back in grade school when I had to change schools for high school. I had a grade school barkada and they made me feel like I was at the height of my happiness. High school came and made me feel like it was the new height of my happiness. Now, I’m telling you that college is the best part of my life. See the pattern? Then I realized that my feelings towards the transition from college to employment is almost the same with the feeling I get every time I change schools. I become scared to leave good old friends whom I’ve had memories with and worry that I might not be able to make new ones anymore. I was so scared that thing won’t be as good as what I had back then. In short, I was scared to leave my comfort zone. Funny how I’ve been worrying about being unprepared for the transition when I was able to adjust so well in college, fast enough to create new ties and get comfortable with the new environment.

Face your fears.
We leave our comfort zones to become a better person.

Yeah, life can be a bitchy sometimes, but it can also be your best friend too. They say that one of our purposes in life is to get to know ourselves and find out what our real purpose in the world is. Little by little, life will teach us to handle the simplest situations to the more complicate ones as we go through with it. Bad as it may sound, we need to get hurt in order to feel loved. Believe it or not, life’s injustice give us justice. Paradox, eh? That’s how I see my college experience as a whole: I had to experience the worst things in order to know what the best things are.

“Crossing the boundaries of today,
We look back on the love of those we’ve carried along the way.”
“We’re here where the journey is about to take a turn;
towards a test, a challenge of all the we have learned.
Though fear may over take us,
we strive to do what’s right;
AND ALL THAT’S LEFT FOR US NOW IS TO SOAR TO WHOLE NEW HEIGHTS.” 

#OccupyJobFair

I couldn’t help but notice that the #OccupyJobFair is starting to trend among Ateneans. The first time I saw the hashtag be used by a schoolmate, I ignored it. I didn’t want to get involved and I had no idea that the “campaign” was growing fast. Some even say that the issue had been brought up years ago, but it is only our batch who made such a big fuss about it. Students who are for and against the issue are posting their (very long, I must say) opinions on Facebook, which I guess is one of the reasons why people are starting to take sides.

From the bottom of my heart, I have nothing against the students who have been complaining about the SOM-centrism of the Job Fair in Ateneo because it is so damn true–and this is coming from a SOM-student. Anyone can easily notice that most companies that are present in the week-long event have management-related openings. If we are to divide the space used by the Job Fair into four (assuming that we’re giving all schools equal spaces), then it could be established that job fair is really unfair with the way they’re prioritizing SOM. Most non-SOM students have been raising issues about SOM graduates are getting more exposure and gaining more benefits from this project compared to the rest of the schools. But if you look at the Job Fair in a different perspective and try to see how the logistics and decisions really went, I think the Ateneo Placement Office (APO) had done a pretty good job with the preparations.

In my almost four years of stay in Ateneo, non-SOM students have always raised their concerns regarding the said issue. From SOM-centrism of job fairs to the university’s favoritism towards SOM, there are a lot to talk about. I guess my say on this issue won’t really matter because I am part of SOM and people will definitely think that everything I’ll say is biased. But, when I saw the tweets and notes on Facebook regarding the silent protest, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed so I started typing down my thoughts. A silent protest during the job fair might give the company representatives a wrong impression about the students. I mean, obviously their protest will not only affect the SOM students, but also themselves. I wasn’t there to witness the protest itself, but I saw this picture from The Guidon:

Really? I think (this is just what I think) that companies don’t only hire Ateneans because they are smart and well-trained, but also because of the environment and culture we’ve grown into. We are known to be classy and well-mannered, which are good characteristics for managerial positions. Companies who participated didn’t have a clue what was going on. This whole thing could be misunderstood as something else. Some of them might have heard that the protest was for the APO, which is a bad thing because it is the office that they contact when it comes to hiring fresh graduates. They are visitors, after all. Imagine ruining Ateneo’s reputation because of all these. I hope we settled the issue in our own way, not the UP way (protesting through rallies). I have nothing against UP. I have lots of friends from there and they are all awesome, but I don’t think that their way works with us. This is not how we do it in Ateneo.

Once again, people have jumped to conclusions. Before researching the process behind the selection of companies that participate in the job fair, disgruntled students assumed that everything was just in favor of SOM. I’m not affiliated with the Ateneo Placement Office in any way, but I know some people there because they have helped me prepare myself in looking for job opportunities and presenting myself well in the real world. I don’t think they did it because I’m a SOM student; they did it because it is their job to give Ateneans a more convenient way of searching for the right job for them.

From what I’ve heard, the APO tried their best to contact the biggest companies in every field under the different programs offered by the university to be able to cater to the needs of the students. What the students don’t know is that, despite APO inviting different kinds of companies, it is the big corporations who had the money to afford the limited space in this year’s Job Fair. When this was brought up, students started to complain about the issue of NGOs and small companies not wanting to pay for the slots because they didn’t have the money. In order to address this problem, the APO actually made a rule that only the corporations were required to pay for the slots, while the rest were given for free. Unfortunately, NGOs and small companies still turned down the offer because they couldn’t afford to send staff to the job fair. That was not APO’s fault, was it?

Yes, the job fair is SOM-centered, but the APO isn’t. It is the real world’s fault why there are more companies hiring SOM students, not the APO’s. I think there’s a difference.

I guess because of rage and bias, some students failed to recognize that at least one-fourth of the companies present in the job fair are only interested in IT students. The funny thing about this is that, there are only three courses in Ateneo which are greatly related to IT: MIS, CS, and ECE. I’m a hundred percent sure that students from these three courses don’t make up one-fourth of the whole batch. Why am I not hearing about the IT-centrism of job fair? Since the issue about job fair’s SOM-centrism is pretty old, APO tried to make up from last year. They organized networking events that is open to any student from the Loyola Schools, yet, through attendance, they found out that most of the participants were from SOM. In short, students don’t complain that SOM students are spoon-fed because it is unfair, they complain because they are not spoon-fed like SOM students.

I think we grew up in a sheltered school that’s why we’re reacting towards the issue this way. Whether we like it or not, to a certain extent, the companies that participated during the job fair are already a representation of what we can expect of the real world. Each one of the programs offered in Ateneo are all equal in terms of value to the humanity, yet we all know that some are just more in demand. Don’t take it against the APO or SOM students. It is not their fault that the real world is as harsh as it is. At the end of the day, we’re just all students with no experiences with work yet. I’m sure that we’ll all have a hard time in the future, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have a future. We are expected to be resourceful and creative when it comes to this kind of things. Let me remind you: job fair is not the only way to find a job. Yes, it is more accessible and convenient for all of us, but the sad truth is not all of us will be able to get a job from it.

We should always remember that APO is one of the offices that tries to create a good reputation of the school so that Ateneans will find it easier to get hired. This is one benefit that we get and students from other universities don’t get. We should be grateful even just for that. The issue is not anyone’s fault, but the manner of bringing it up was wrong. Like what I said, truth hurts. Not all kinds of job have openings for everyone and you won’t be able to please every company. These facts needed to be accepted by students who have been whining about inequality and other things because I wouldn’t be surprised if next year, the APO decides not to hold a job fair anymore and let the students do the work to make them realize how hard it really is to find an employment opportunity.

Seniors, I think it’s time to grow up.

A Very Sad Post

AFTER 5 HOURS….

…why do I still feel heavy?

#mehastofinishmyreportby830am
#mustsendittogroupmatesASAP
#orelsegroupmateswillkillme

*Time check: 3:51 AM*

…I think I feel heavy because I know that, in reality, even if we both want things to go back to the way they used to be… IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN. Who are we kidding?
…unless he realizes how unhealthy their relationship is.

#idontthinkimintherightpositiontotellhimthat
#thingswillNEVERbethesamenomatterwhat

…even my feelings don’t know what to feel now. Brain gave up on me too. The only thing I’m sure of is I’m tired.
…what did I ever do to deserve this shit?

Well, it was very comforting to know that he does value our friendship and it was not only who is still trying to save what’s left of it. Although it might not be his fault, I’m pretty sure it isn’t mine either. I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me to deserve losing a friend for the NTH TIME. (Paulit-ulit na lang. Nakakasawa na.)

…and here I thought third parties only happen in romantic relationships.

People keep on asking me what I want. Honestly, I DON’T F*CK*NG KNOW. I’m not even sure if I want to know. Well, of course there’s one thing that I want to happen. After all, it’s impossible not to know what outcome you want to see, right? But, the fact that I know that what I want to happen WILL NEVER happen makes me feel more hopeless. It’s impossible to happen. HAPPEN. Screw that word. (Not really making sense at 4 in the morning, eh?) But who cares about what they think? I just want to feel light and carefree again–like how I used to feel everyday in the previous semester. I miss getting enough sleep because I don’t have to think about bad things anymore. I miss the life where I just wing it and do what I want to do. I miss laughing non-stop at the stupidest things. I miss not worrying about anything at all. Most of all, I miss answering “I’m fine” to a person asking me “how are you?” and really mean it.

Is it my fault that people think we’re more than what really are? Is it my fault that I value my friends so much and sometimes I just expect too much? But then again, deciding to go back like the way we were before is useless since I know things will never be the same. The thought makes me sad–actually, erase that. The thought kills me, but it’s not like I have much choice left in this situation.

“What now?”
*Wanting to shout, “leave me alone and forget me”* Says: “I don’t know.”

I know that ending our friendship is something I don’t want. See? I know the things that I don’t want, but I don’t know what I want. But the question is: is this about what I want? If it is, then as Black Eyed Peas would have said, “life would be easy”. But I don’t think I’m that selfish. We have to take into consideration the feelings of other people too, you know?

*Time Check: 4:15 AM*

Yeah, I guess you had a good point with the whole, “ending this friendship will be a joke”. No matter how many times we put a stop to it just to avoid hurting other people, we just can’t do it. It’s because we know we’re not doing anything wrong and I admit that I really do enjoy your company. Being able to tell you ANYTHING makes you very important. Funny how we actually talk about not talking to each other anymore, but still finding ourselves laughing at the silliest things.

#couplesfightoverthesethingsnotclosefriendslikeus

I was preparing myself to expect the worst and explain to you what is the logical thing to do in this situation, but when you started talking about how you felt the situation, I couldn’t help but think of the same thing. Kasi naman, the problem is not between us, it’s with your girlfriend who can’t handle a simple, clean friendship.

Histo reporting tomorrow and I’m not even in the mood to finish my part of the group report. Talk about mood swings. Groupmates will definitely kill me if I don’t present a good conclusion for our HUK Rebellion report. I better get some sleep and wake up in less than three hours.

…still feeling heavy

#whatthefuck

People come…
People go…
Then new people come…
You’d think they’re better…
But they end up being the same…
= LIFE

…maybe I should stop investing on people. They’re just a waste of time. It’s going to be the same sh*t all over again, anyway. What’s the point?

#RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT

You know what I want to happen. I know what you want to happen. We keep on waiting for each other’s decisions, which is why nothing’s happening. I’m telling you mine now: I want to TRY to go back to the way things used to be. Now, it’s up to you if you’ll be able to do it too. It’s going to be hard (adding people who are good at backstabbing). I think it’s about time for you to think about the things that you want and not what WE want. Try to be happy, so everyone else can be happy too.

#GULO

The A-Fair

The first-ever Ateneo de Manila University fair was held last January 14-15, 2012 at the grounds of the university. One a scale of 1 to 10, comparing it to past school fairs I have been to, Ateneo’s first university fair can be ranked somewhere between 5 and 6. Even though it was promoted through different types of advertisements, not many students went to the fair. Some were still busy with school (especially the seniors who are about to take their finals in a month), while some didn’t even know the exact date of the fair. Core team wasn’t able to put much things to do in the fair. I mean, aside from the fact that Ateneo looked perfectly normal added the stalls and booths around the campus, it looked like it was an organization fund raising event. An Atenean would know that it is usual to have stalls and booths around the school because of the events organized by different organizations, just like another day of JSEC challenge or probably a bazaar fixed by the COA team. More students were able to attend the first day of the fair because of curiosity and some happened to be in school because they had class in the morning. Basically, it was nothing W-O-W. Although, if I take into account that this is the first time the student body had arranged something like this, I’ll probably give it an 8.5. After all, it was a good way to bond with your kabarkadas.

The most enjoyable part of the fair was the bull ride booth where students were allowed to ride the bull as long as they can FOR FREE. Spent the first day of the fair with the AWVT and the second day with AVC. Among my friends, record holder was Gretch for riding the bull for more than a minute. Vic, Gretch, JJ, and Dzi were four brave souls who tried the activity.

Aside from the bull ride booth, most of the time was spent in the “Blue Banchetto” area where we had our very own mini-Mercato. I remember someone saying, “Bakit ‘di na lang everyday yung kainan? Parang mas masayang version ng caf!” Well, it really was! Everything I ate tasted good. It was also fun hanging out in the Colayco-turned-Arcade Pavillion. It is a place for friends who enjoy Time Zone games. Although it was a fun day spent with friends, I ended up going home early on the second day because we ran out of things to do and ended up getting bored.

Pictures from the A-Fair: Kim Manly and Jeggy Filart getting married in front of the pa-cool priest! Mr. and Mrs. Jeggy Filart!

I don’t get how in the world this sunflower ended up with me. I thought we were leaving it in JJ’s car as a display ) Spent almost P50 playing catch the stuffed toy in the Arcade area to get the sunflower from Plants VS. Zombies. After so many tries, Vic was finally able to get it!

In other news, good luck to all who took the ACET! I heard the results are out

Boys are [insert negative word here]

Recently, my friends and I made this joke about the adjectives we usually associate with boys. We were able to come up with a pretty long [imaginary] list and ever since then, we joked about it with our closest guy friends. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that all boys have all the adjectives we came up with, but I’m pretty sure that each one of them, at least, acquire one of these.

While coming up with the funniest adjectives, I’ve always thought that they only applied to them when it comes to romantic relationships. I mean, COME ON. They must know a thing or two about friendship, right? A friend told me last night that there’s no such thing as platonic friendship. The sad thing about this is I’m sure that others would share the same sentiment. I bet half of the world would agree to that. Unfortunately, the notion about ‘boys and girls can never have a relationship without romantic intention from at least one side’ is somewhat popular. I’ve been trying to prove that statement wrong for several years and I have failed, not once, not twice, but thrice. In all situations, either someone has fallen for the other or it’s just really not meant for girls to have guy best friends.

So, where am I going here? Coming from a girl’s perspective, the list I’m showing in this blog contains the major reasons why there’s usually a disagreement between guys and girls.

Boys are INSENSITIVE
If they get the impression that you’re this superwoman who can do anything because you’ve been fighting battles alone your whole life and they still haven’t seen you cry yet, they sometimes become insensitive to your emotional needs. Most of them see girls as weaklings who easily cry, so identifying you as the unique one might actually be bad for you. Dear boys, even if  some of us have created a strong facade of being an alpha female, it doesn’t mean that we don’t need your comfort in our lives anymore. Actually, the more reason why we need you to be by our side. There will come a time when we’ll get tired from sh*t and try to find security from friends. Whether you are a boy or a girl, the trust we give to friends mean so much to us. You have no right to belittle the value we give to you.

Boys are STUPID
Obviously, by stupid I mean not being able to get the simplest things. Don’t worry, I’m pretty aware that there are A LOT of you who are very smart (some are even smarter than girls) and definitely far from being academically challenged. But, that’s the problem. You guys are supposed to be intelligent enough to know the basics. How is it that it’s so hard for you guys to understand us? One reason why it’s so easy for a girl to be friends with other girls is because with just one look, they can already understand each other’s thoughts. We don’t expect you guys to be of the same level with that kind of understanding, but a little more of it won’t hurt. Kung baga, Asian level na yun. It is true that life is easier with girl-friends, but, to a certain extent, girls will want guy friends as well. You might not get this, but you make our lives more exciting to live in because, unlike some girls, you guys are usually game to do anything. So, please do get out little hints if we get hurt with your words or actions. We expect so much from you because we know that you can do better. We’re not that hard to understand once you get passed the whining. “Tangina. Ang hirap intindihin ng mga babae.”

Boys are DEMANDING
Guys always expect girls to understand them all the time. Yes, we also demand that you guys try to understand us most of the time. I think that’s the main reason why we keep on explaining our side to you. Given that both are wanting to be understood all the time, but it is only the girls who have the ‘energy’ to explain their side, then it’s unfair to expect the same from us. The fact that you boys keep on telling yourself that you’ll never be able to understand the whole female anatomy because girls are so damn complicated and hard to comprehend, must give you an idea that we’re having a harder time knowing what’s going on in your mind while you keep everything to yourself. I don’t know why you guys are so lazy to explain. Most of the time you’d want to let go the issue just to cut the talking part. Girls like to listen (well, most of us). Talking will reduce your cheek fat, so I guess you guys better start talking or else your cheeks are going to grow bigger and bigger. We don’t like guessing all the time about how you really feel about a certain situation or what you really think of us. That’s our job. Cut the crap and start explaining.

Boys DON’T STICK TO WHAT THEY SAY
If you make a promise to a girl, YOU BETTER MAKE SURE THAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO IT. I don’t want to hear your sh*t about, “oh, you remember that pa pala.” If you believe that promises are meant to be broken,then don’t even make one because we actually embrace your words and expect to see your execution. Same goes with pacts. Don’t EVER make a pact with a girl if you won’t be able to live up to it. I mean, that’s the whole point of a pact right? It’s a deal that has more conviction to it. The reason why we use the word pact instead of deal is to emphasize the severity of the execution of the agreement. We seldom make pacts (because I think it’s more of a guy thing), but when we do, we live with it for the rest of our lives. We always remember what people we care about say. Empty promises are definitely not welcome to any kind of relationship.  At least feel guilty when you give out words that don’t mean anything to you. 

Boys are USERS
Please do understand that girls don’t like settling in the middle. In every kind of relationship, we like being part of the extremes. By extremes, I mean either you tell us that you’d rather not see us ever again or you like us to be by your side all the time. Friends who are somewhere in the middle, on the other hand, are just friends. You’d feel it if you’re something more naman eh. Don’t show your face whenever you just feel like it especially when a girl treats you like her best friend. Yes, you guys are not the type who gets attached with friends. Fine. But there’s actually a difference between being able to check up on us once in a while and only showing your face whenever your girlfriend’s not around. (Oo, may pinanggagalingan.) Even if you don’t mean to, it somehow makes us feel used. BACK-UP? Just because you and your girlfriend are finally doing better than before, it doesn’t give you an excuse to put us aside. Remember, we’re your friends– NOT QUERIDAS.

Boys are INCONSISTENT
As what I have mentioned before, it is definitely impossible for a girl to TOTALLY understand how the mind of a boy works. I guess it’s bad enough that we will never be able to understand you because of our different ways, so please don’t add to the confusion by sending mixed signals. Sometimes you call her, sometimes you don’t. One day you treat her like she’s the most important person in the world to you, and then the next day it’s like she doesn’t even exist anymore. All we ask from you is a little CONSISTENCY. Boys say that girls assume too much. I think it’s about time we get to explain our side. Didn’t it ever cross your mind that you guys might be the main reason why we became assuming in the first place? Your inconsistent actions that we don’t understand make us feel helpless and left with no choice but to assume the best or the worst, depending on the situation. You do things to us that you don’t do to other girls, and then we find out from other people that you’ve been doing it in spite of seeing us only as a friend. I mean, we’re two girls, both your friend–but, you’d only do special things to me AS A FRIEND. What? I’m a “MORE” friend than her? If you don’t like the girl, don’t do things that will make her feel special or stand out among other girls.

Boys do TAKE ADVANTAGE
As funny as it may sound, once a boy finds out that a girl has a crush on him, he suddenly finds this girl a little more attractive than before. The bad thing about this is the boy doesn’t really like the girl, yet he finds the energy to flirt with her. So, the girl ends up liking the guy more (some even get attached) and then the guy does the same thing to every other girl whom they feel like they have a chance with. Since they feel so gwapo and all, they expect that the girl sticks around no matter what, then that’s the only time when they realize her true worth. Boys, please grow up. It is true that girls can have a crush on boys with just one look, but that also means we can have another crush the moment we see someone else more worthy of our appreciation.

 

Girls are not perfect either, we know that. We have our own flaws and I think we’re smart enough to admit that. I’m pretty sure that boys can come up a longer list of negative adjectives they can associate with girls if they wanted to. This blog I’m posting is just my opinion, so please don’t get offended by it. It was inspired the sentiments of five girls who just wanted to be heard, for once. It’s true that not all boys are like this, but can you blame us for having a perspective like this after everything we’ve been through? I’ve had bad experiences with boys when it comes to romantic relationships, but it didn’t make me want to give up on boys at all. But tell me, if my GUY FRIENDS are just the same as they are, what hope do I have left?

I know that I still have a few guy friends who got my back whatever happens (even it that means getting involved in my SUPER CRAZY life). They are the only hope I have left. I still take my stand on platonic friendships. THEY ARE POSSIBLE. I just hope that they don’t prove me wrong in the future.

 

Post-Christmas Blues

I meant it when I said that I’m gonna make this year my year. If my [almost] four years stay in the Ateneo felt like it happened in less than a month,I’m pretty sure my last three months will pass by shorter than a typhoon. I can’t imagine a better first week of the year (except for my overflowing emotions I had a while ago, which is a completely different story).  So, here’s a recap of what happened to me this week:

January 2 [Monday]
Spent the afternoon with my family and the rest of the night with AVC friends. We had a small get together at Inna’s house after the training in Celebrity. We call it the ‘AVC Post-Christmas Party’.

After my decision to “hibernate” last Christmas break, seeing my friends and being able to hangout with them again was well looked forward to. I was actually the one who organized it since I wanted to make it up to them. Cheesy as it might sound, I really missed every single person in this part. Thanks Inna for the place ; )

P.S Jarvis and Louise FTW! ))

January 4 [Wednesday]
Well, first day of classes for the year was pretty normal except for the fact that I was able to have dinner with my 106 girls again after a very long time. Eating dinner with A, Dzi, Jem, and Sharah was like a routine in my first three years of college. But ever since I decided to move out of the dorm and live in the condo with Jen, I wasn’t able to spend as much time with them anymore. So, we decided to have a 106/315 mini reunion over dinner to make up for the time that we lost for each other. After all, we treated each other like sisters before. To make things a bit more exciting, we invited Glenda (an old schoolmate of mine) because she was also starting to be close with all of us.

To recreate the feeling back in first year college, we ate at Chicken Bacolod (one of our favorite restaurants in Katipunan before), then had a short drinking session at Cantina (courtesy of Ms. Sharah So) with two guys from the men’s team. It was definitely our typical night out back in our freshman year.

After bringing everyone else back in the dorm, Sharah and I decided to have an ‘UBE’ (ultimate bonding session) to catch up on each other’s lives. This year, I became busy with school and organization work, while Sharah spent most of her time with their family company. There was not much time to talk and go out anymore unlike before. So, having this talk made me feel like having my old friend back again. I’m really glad we had that talk because it was a perfect time to have someone give me back my sanity after going through that awful Christmas break. I admit that I needed a girl to tell me how to fix my life. Despite enjoying every second with my guy friends at AVC, to a certain extent, only a girl can tell another girl how to get back up when life knocks her down.

At the end, I was able to assure myself that I was going to be fine because I have these girls in my life : )

January 6 [Friday]
 I ended up sleeping over at Sharah’s house last Thursday night because our meeting for the Boracay event finished late. We ended up hanging out in the bar until 2 AM, so it was pretty obvious that we were all too tired to go back to Katipunan. Because of this, I ended up being late for all my meetings (cancelled the everything scheduled in the morning). After AVC training, I wasn’t really in the best mood for anything because of this certain BITCH (excuse my language, but I don’t usually call anyone by this word except if they really do deserve it), but got over it during dinner. Thanks to my awesome friends, I found myself laughing at anything at the end of the night like nothing happened. They do make life seem worthwhile when I feel like giving up because they make me feel that they will never give up on me no matter how stupid or irrational I may get.

Fishbowl party at Jack’s Loft with AVC plus Sharah, Glenda, A, Jem, and Boom : )

I love how the photos turned out party-ish, although they’re a little over saturated (my bad). It’s been a while since I went out to party so I guess dinners like this make me feel carefree again. I have been so busy with the Ateneo Open and the Boracay tournament to the point that I forgot how to chill out and have fun.

After eating at Jack’s Loft, people who were left decided to play billiards near the cinemas. Since it got a little late already, we had no choice but to stay in Petron Katipunan to decide where to go next. Guess what? Everyone ended up going home because we didn’t know what to do anymore. So, the girls and I decided to have midnight snacks at Shakey’s then sleep at the dorm. I was so amazed with how friends from the varsity team and AVC gelled together.

Photos: From Inna Caluya and Jem Ferrer <3 Thanks, girls!

Two. Zero. One. Two

This is the best January 1 I’ve ever had–SO FAR. It has been a tradition for my family to go out on the first day of the year to rejoice for a great year ahead. The Japanese are very keen when it comes to celebrating New Year traditions. For the first time, my family was able to go through the whole January 1 without quarrels and misunderstandings. Someone always ends up getting mad at someone else, which ruins the mood of everyone else. This time was different. I had the perfect New Year celebration with my family and it felt like we really bonded this time (something I don’t usually feel when I’m with them). We ate lunch prepared by mom at home, went to Tagaytay for a short merienda in this super homey place called “Tootsies”, and had dinner at Fridays in Alabang Town Center. Nothing ruined my first day of the year.

In other news, I wasn’t able to finish my traditional new year surprise for friends. I was only able to finish 4 out of 7 I was planning on making, but these four represented the closest groups of friends that I have today. Here are the four finished photos:

I’m really glad that I was able to start the year right–something that I was never able to do in the past new year celebrations. I have a good feeling about this year–and even if I didn’t, I’m letting fate or destiny ruin 2012 for me. It’s my last chance to find and discover my true self before I get exposed to the real, cruel world. Graduation is in less than three months! Open house for the biggest companies in the country will start in less than two weeks, which means I don’t have much time to fix my resume anymore. I’ve spent half of my last semester in Ateneo partying and drinking. I think it’s about time to get serious about my future.

If they say that it’s almost the end of the world, then I’ll be spending my 2012 like it is my last year in the world ; )

“We gonna party like, like it’s the end of the world!” lalalala